A New Day (A revamped version of Hidden Compulsions)
by toorosyforyou
Summary: Our insecurities become us.


**HI GUYS! **

**It's been a while since I've been on FF, too long. This is the revamped version of the Prologue for Hidden Compulsions. I've decided to just post it as a new story and maybe remove the old one when I'm finished writing the revised version. **

I'd like to thank everyone who's read the original version and who's supported me throughout it.

I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS, so... review! and tell me what you think, is it better?

xo

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**Clarissa Adele Fairchild **

I am just so tired.

Sitting in my bedroom in the middle of the summer, freshly showered and wearing my beloved _Friday night_ pants paired with two different socks and an oversized (men's) t-shirt is not how I planned my life to be at this point.

When I was an adorable, little, albeit a little chubby girl I pictured myself being this amazing socialite in high school. Of course, in my dreams I was _thin_. But that's so not the point!

I always thought I was the realistic child. I always had a plan. I knew what I was going to do and when I was going to do it and with whom I was going to be doing it with.

I was going to have a best friend that's a boy and he'd come over every single day after school and my parents would love him.

Although, life couldn't be any more different than I thought it would be. I still know what I want. I just couldn't live up to the little girl inside of me's dreams.

I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of feeling like I annoy everyone with my every sentence. I'm tired of not being able to wear the clothes that the skinny girls wear. I'm tired of being the "perfect blonde", I'm tired.

I get decent grades, I don't do drugs and I find reading books pleasurable. I am totally a 50's glam girl minus the whole "no rights for a female" thing. So I'm pretty much the non-domestic, domestic housewife.

And maybe, I'm a little bit stubborn about things like burned chicken strips (because I refused to let them waste for being a little tanner than usual!)

I am a far cry from the fierce, fabulous female I once thought I could be.

Tomorrow, or maybe today since its two o'clock in the morning is a new day and I will carpe diem the shit out of it.

Today is the first day of my new diet.

While I am exhausted at a lot of things, I refuse **fat** to be one of them.

Somewhat satisfied with my newly motivated self, I tuck myself into bed and wait to fall asleep.

To be dreaming about my new body amongst other things.

**Jonathon Christopher Herondale**

It is two o'clock on the dot in the morning and guess what I'm doing… stalking the literal girl of my dreams.

I've known Clarissa or, as she likes to be known as, Clary for about three years now.

We're both heading into our junior year this year.

I've also had a crush on her for about three years.

It started when we were both heading into our freshman year at the Garroway.

I don't know what exactly draws me to her. It could be the fact that she says whatever she means instead of playing games, like some girls.

I've always found it hilarious how blunt she is. It's so amusing yet such a double standard that she can say things like "your boobs are sooooo nice!" to a girl she meets for the very first time.

It could be her intellect. She's always been the type of smart that doesn't exude arrogance or false superiority.

It could also be the way she sometimes has a little smirk on her face that is just so cute.

I never thought I'd use the word cute to describe anything but Clary Fairchild is nothing short of cute.

It's a combination of things that make me like her, really.

I'd be lying if I said it was only for her personality. I think I'd be crushing on her regardless but, her looks just add to it! It's like eating chocolate and finding out there's nuts or like _two_ types of chocolate in it.

Clarissa Fairchild. Perfection. She's the only girl I know who _doesn't _cake her face in makeup. Well besides Izzy. I mean, why do girls even do that?

What guy finds that attractive? Okay, I'm not even gonna lie. Kaelie and Seelie Court do look pretty damn hot. Well, their bodies do… Their faces are just absolutely disgusting, just like their personalities. I only keep them around to make Clary jealous, but she never seems to even notice.

_Everyone _loves her. She's so sweet and bubbly and charismatic. She's totally the peppy cheerleader type. She's talkative, absolutely adorable and never looks slutty.

She has a great fashion sense, well from what my sister, Izzy's told me. I never really pay attention to what she wears, only on how it looks on her…. And boy does she look good.

As I scroll through her photos on Instagram, I yawn and my phone falls on my face. I decide that maybe I should go to bed, so I set my phone on my night stand and get comfortable.

Maybe I'll work up the nerve to ask her out tomorrow.

It is after all, a new day.

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**And, that's a wrap for the prologue guys! **

**I hoped you liked it! **

**Love it/hate it, let me know!**

**xo**


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